Help me! I’m living with a clutter junkie.

 

I recently had a client bring to a coaching session an issue about clutter. He and his wife were expecting a baby and he was worried that the impending  arrival would put a strain on more than just the bulging cupboards.

 

Keeping ‘ones house in order’ is really the first step in personal leadership. In this time of multi tasking it’s easy to become complacent about keeping things tidy and organised, preferring to ‘do it later’

 

Clutter for many is about dealing with the past. An Inability to leave the past behind will mean that it remains in your present as a constant reminder.

 

Untidiness is a refusal to commit to a course of action which means that everything around you is part completed or works in progress. Clutter is the physical evidence of procrastination.

 

Here is a summary of the session outcome. Maybe it rings true with you, would love to hear your comments.

 

Looking at the clutter issue first. Find a way to discuss with your wife what all the clutter around her represents. To many clutter is a way we put down roots and gain security in our lives, it’s hard to keep on moving if you have crates of nick naks!

 

Secondly find out what her ideal home should include. William Morris said “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful” let her use her own words to build her vision of her perfect home. Are Organic, Warm, Secure or Welcoming words she would like to describe her ideal?

 

Thirdly go through each room and visualise it all going off into a removal van, this van is safe, no-one’s going to steal anything and is accessible, no-one is going to chuck her stuff away. Once everything is out of the room she can choose what is absolutely necessary, then she can bring back everything that is in her vision. Ask her what the room looks like and what else it needs? Is any of it still on the van? Does what is still on the van fit with the vision.

 

You can go through each room like that until you are left with a house which fits with the vision and a load of stuff which you have already emotionally let go of.

 

If you are brave enough you can do it physically and really sweep around the edges and re decorate. The baby’s room is an ideal place to make a start on this. Ensure however that you only do one room at a time so you see immediate benefits. This will in turn inspire you to complete the project and achieve your clutter free goals.

 

Clutter, and procrastination are friends.  To clutter junkies and procrastinators it is ridiculous to tidy new stuff when there is such a big backlog, better to do it in one huge cull and start all over again. (Think crash dieting so you can have a big blow out at Christmas!)Once the clutter is cleared you can work together to keep it that way buy investing in storage and discussing systems that work for you as a family. Untidiness may be a signal that she can’t complete the issues at hand with out ‘something’, who can help her with that something? Finally discuss with her the benefits of a clutter free tidy house and how much it means to you, it’s these courageous conversations which are a measure of a grown-up relationship.

 

If this article rang true with you, try this.

 

For the next 7 days do it now. If anything comes up, do it now. If something needs putting away, do it now. All those piles of stuff left in rooms on stairs on desks is a direct consequence of ‘not doing it now’

 

Try it for 7 days, let me know how you get on.